Sunday, August 28, 2011

RAMBLINGS: Dad taught me how to ride a bike in my dreams.

Oh goodness. If I'm not thinking about the future, I'm thinking about death.

I fell into the deepest slumber I can possibly ever have after trying to make acquaintance with expectations, variances, distributions... Only to have them stab me in the front. I'm confounded by some really basic piece of information but I just don't get it. And I can't move on to the next module if I don't get it. *throws books out of the windows*

Whatever, I will get you. Even if I have to sleep at 4am today, because I really need to do that post on Vichy (Coming up tonight! Or in the wee hours of the morning when fairies romp about. Did you read about Ann Arbour? How tiny doors have been appearing all over the state for the little ones, since 2005? I haven't read this but here you go.).

Anyway, in my dream, Dad taught the brother and I how to ride a bike. The sister happily walked off in front of us and we got separated by the traffic. The brother and I got into the bike basket (And since dreams are impossible, it was possible for the two of us to fit in the basket ever so comfortably.). And Dad rode us all the way to a carpark, tilting the bike at dangerous angles, telling us how to maneuver it... And all the time he was telling us that he was getting old and in the dream, I took note of the deep lines etched on his weathered forehead.

It scared me a little when I got up. How real the whole thing was. Hence, this entry.

I need to accept the fact that death is very real. Just because it hasn't happened yet, I can't frolic under my perpetually cheery sun and bounce about on fluffy, white clouds. But at the same time, I, for pete's sake, should not be dwelling on it and should appreciate every single moment I have now.

It isn't that I just had a sudden epiphany from some strange dream. I guess the conversation I had with a friend had been replaying in my mind all week, without me realizing it. I guess I got thrown out of the kilter for a (Very long. *multiple eye rolls*) moment because I don't get how a family can be so separated. If I have a family, gawd. I will make darn sure that we have family time ALL the time.

No, just kidding. Lol. You know what I mean. I used to run round my old estate in the evening. I saw couples, holding hands, taking walks and I was like 'I want that to happen to me. I don't care if he doesn't make a lot of money. I don't care if he doesn't have movie-star good looks. But that MUST happen to me.'. But of course, the kids will come along. They can run in front of us, while the two of us can do the Macerena dance secretly in the back. HAHA.

I'm off now to take some photos. I will check for any grammatical errors tonight. Heh. Yes, I know. I'm anal. But before I leave, please watch this. (:


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