Friday, November 4, 2011

RAMBLINGS: How bleak the L word is.

After 10430249345 years, I finally went for a run. Okay, it has only been 2 months? But with all the junk food that I have been stuffing myself with (GAWD. Shaker fries are back!!! *hyperventilates*), I'm pretty sure I look preggie. :\ But anyway, I have found a running route in my new estate (After an ENTIRE year. Blame the little 'gym' that Dad had installed at home.) and it involves an overhead bridge. And trust me when I say going up and down is like committing suicide.


While I was running, Taylor Swift's 'The Way I Loved You' came on and God knows I played this song to death on my daily runs after the big A's. Back then, I was having a massive crush on a fellow barista. So naturally, he came to mind when this song played.

(Though quite unfortunately, the song didn't ring true.)

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous

When I saw him, my heart went into overrun. There was the whole 'I can't feel my heart. No, wait. I CAN feel my heart. Loud, clear and VERY fast.', the tongue-tied moments, the 'OH GAWD. WHY DID I DO THAT STUPID THING IN FRONT OF HIM?!?' head-burying business... The adrenaline rush when he smiled, the little smile that stretched across the face involuntarily when he looked at the door's glass and fixed his hair...

He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better

And I have always thought that love will feel so much more than that. That each of those aforementioned emotions will be intensified, ten times. No, a million times. That I will feel like I will literally die without him.

He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

Yet, what I am feeling at the moment is stability. And some sort of mellowness. The phrase 'falling in love with your best friend' comes to mind. I can picture myself living with you and being happy and all that. But the holding of hands, the pecks... I feel like I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do.

I still think that love means intensity... An insane rush of emotions. I want to fall in love each time I see mon chéri.

And I think that what I feel towards you is just friendship. Well, sometimes it is and sometimes it is a little more. But I have always thought that love equals certainty. I don't know if the first one completely killed it for me or maybe it has been so long that I have forgotten what it feels like... But December 23rd may have to wait a little while more.

On the same topic but in a completely different area,

She sat at the table with her sandwich,
And him across her with his eggs benedict.
munch munch
"How was work yesterday?"
"Oh, the usual. Yours?"
"The same."
munch munch
"There were 2 cockroaches in the girl's toilet last night."
"She must have been scared!"
"Yeah, she was."
munch munch
"The boy's laptop is spoilt. I will need to send it for repairs tomorrow."
munch munch
munch munch
munch munch
"I'm done."
"Me too."
"Let's go then."
"Yeah... Let's."

Even old love dies. What more the new one.

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